"Mommy Newsom"

I love how these photos capture Delaney's personality.  She is without a doubt, the funniest person I know!  Before Delaney was born, I used to think "what will she look like", "what will her voice sound like" but I don't ever remember thinking "what funny things will she say".................Like

When we drove past what I hope will be her school she said "do you think they have a carpool line".  I told her if not, that was a deal breaker!

She asked me if I was excited to get the iphone 6 and said "do you think it will be too big for your hand"....

While we were both sitting in the recliner she said "we need to get a bigger chair, and a new sofa so we can snuggle".  We don't fit well together on either!


She has become addicted to HGTV and loves Beachfront Bargain Hunters, Love It, or List It, and her favorite is Fixer Upper.  She always wants to watch Fixer Upper and after watching it the other night she told me we should start FLIPPING HOUSES!!! I told her we need to get one project done at a time (i.e. our basement).  Here's a "progress photo"..............I know it just looks like a room with nothing but drywall but to me it is the most beautiful drywall I have ever seen! Paint and carpet (can you believe I have never bought carpet in my life!?! I am not a fan of carpet but I want it in the bedroom (through the doorway) and the living room area (the end where the windows are).  There are 23 boxes of tile just waiting to be installed (where the 5 gallon buckets are). I'll update as we go along (including the installation of surveillance cameras----I am no fool, someday I will have a teenager hanging out down there!).

I told her to drink her milk at breakfast and she said "but I don't want to go to kindergarten". (I tell her that she has to drink her milk to get big and go to kindergarten).  Another morning I poured her milk and she said "am I seeing things or is that milk"!

"You're being such a meanie, I"m sorry I said that but I am just too tired to clean up all of that mess by myself, I"m just a little girl and you should help me".  WORD FOR WORD PEOPLE!!

When I am mad upset with her I call her "Delaney Newsom".  She replied "Mommy Newsom".

I told her she was a lot of work and she told me "then maybe you shouldn't have had a kid".

The other night she told me "it must be hard being the parent of a kid".

I've Been Suckered.......

While Delaney was eating breakfast this morning, I ran to her room and borrowed money from her piggy bank.  I've been assured I am not the only parent who has done this.  What I didn't count on was her catching me...."Mommy, why are you taking money from my piggy bank?" (as it dropped on her floor).  "Delaney, mommy really needs a large diet coke in a Styrofoam cup from McDonald's this morning".  Then I felt bad b/c no one "needs" a coke, or do they??? I almost left her an IOU but then I got to thinking, where are MY IOU's???????

My "pregnant" Christmas I bought Dave the piggy bank b/c I really wanted to impress upon him how expensive having a girl was going to be!!!  And yes, I enjoyed every slurp of my diet coke!

I left the house without my cell phone which felt a little like leaving the house without my child.  I had physical therapy and several errands.  By the time I got home, I had missed a call and a text from Delaney's school.  Which of course meant I had a sick kid!  I was told she had a headache but no fever. I figured since they were calling they must have wanted me to come pick her up from school.  The teacher said "it's up to you"....they were headed to recess so I figured if Delaney was faking, surely she wouldn't do it BEFORE recess so off I went.  She had plans to go sledding after school (you see where this is going, yes??).....We barely walked out of her classroom when she said "I feel good enough to go to grandma and grandpa's".  Normally, I would have pulled the "oh no, if you're too sick for school, you're too sick for sledding".  But instead I pulled the "of course you're still going to grandma and grandpa's, mommy has lunch and movie plans today"!!!!!

About ten minutes after I dropped her off (I did manage to grab some Ibuprofen for the "alleged" headache) I got this.......................

And the text said "after 6 trips up and down, she's done.  She has no fear and had a blast".

I replied "let me guess, her headache's gone"????????????????

So it was a win, win! I got my "made at your table guacamole and Delaney got to sled (albeit at the expense of skipping recess).

The Happiest Little Girl on Earth is Headed to The Happiest Place on Earth!!!

I can't wait to see Disney through the eyes of Delaney. I have the advantage of being an "old mom" which means I get to solicit advice from my "mom friends" who have "been there, done that". I was unanimously told not to go until she's five which is right around the corner (sniff, sniff).  I said all last year "we are going next year". And here it is, "next year".  After planning our beach vacation and family vacation to the mountains, I sort of dismissed the trip to Disney.  And the next thing I knew, our flights and hotel were booked!  We will be coming home from Disney and leaving two weeks later for the beach. Or what I now call "my vacation to recover from vacation".  David's friend told me "you are crazy".  I wonder if he just figured that out!

Now that our trip is booked, I naturally turned to Etsy for all of our Disney essentials...........

 An autograph book for the Disney characters

 Appropriate shirt for the plane ride

 Disney themed tote (minus the "Nana" of course--despite "Fred" at Sam's club telling Delaney to have her "grandma" (i.e. ME) take her to get a free chocolate chip cookie)

And personalized luggage tags

I know a lot of our blog readers have been to Disney so I am going to list all of the restaurants we have made our ADR's (I am having to learn "Disney lingo").  And FYI, that stands for Advanced Dining reservations!  We are NOT doing the dining plan.  I am also interested in knowing who has done the Memory Maker as I am a little undecided if I want it.

T-Rex (downtown Disney)

Chef Mickey's (Contemporary Resort)

Kona Cafe (Polynesian Resort)

Liberty Tree Tavern (Magic Kingdom)

Be Our Guest (Magic Kingdom)

Flame Tree BBQ (Animal Kingdom-counter service recommendation)
Tusker House (Animal Kingdom)
Coral Reef (Epcot)

Somehow, I was able to get reservations for the exact days I wanted (we are not doing the Park Hopper Pass so that was a major accomplishment).  If you cannot make your reservations for the times you want online (or don't like to be told "no"-wink wink), call the restaurant as some do their own.  For instance, T-Rex only had 10:00 p.m. available for dinner which of course is well past Delaney's bedtime (do those exist on vacation??).  I called them and got the time I wanted (6:00 p.m.)!

We will be doing Magic Kingdom our first and last day and Epcot, Animal Kingdom and Hollywood Studios in between.

WHAT ARE WE MISSING????

We also plan on doing the electric parade and the fireworks. And it goes without saying, yes, we will be going to the Castle to have lunch with the princesses (where I expect to eat Gold) and Delaney has an appointment at the Bippidi Bobbidi Boutique.  I will have a (well sterilized stroller) delivered to our resort from magicstrollers.com along with groceries from gardengrocer.com.

I haven't been to Disney since I was 3 (and ALL I remember from that trip was staying at the Polynesian and wearing a cute little peach, terry cloth romper).  I am so glad this time around I get to pick out my own clothes because peach is a HORRIBLE color on me!

Speaking of clothes.....I want to remember this text conversation.

I may have gone a little overboard buying Disney themed clothes in a 5T so it only makes sense we go this year!

My "Extremist"...........

Delaney LOVES the beach.....

 

And, she LOVES the snow!!

She grabbed her beach toys and started playing. She made "snow" castles (I love her ingenuity) and then asked if she could bury me in the snow. And, I'm afraid, she was serious!

"Accessorizing"

Our new beverage cart was delivered this week........

Naturally, I turned to Pinterest for ideas on accessorizing it.......

Like fresh flowers......

But Delaney had her own ideas.....

(And yes, she is glued to 19 Kids and Counting). She "says" she is going to marry a Duggar! I wonder if Luke knows about this.....

Should we stay or should we go...

Ten minutes after the "show/field trip" started (which included 1800 preschoolers), Delaney leaned over to me and said "mommy, I don't think I can sit through all of this, can we just go home now"......

And as much as I wanted to say "I thought you'd never ask"..........I told her that seemed a little like "skipping class"!  When the puppet show was over, I asked Delaney if she liked it and she gave it "one thumb down"....I'm sure she would have given it "two thumbs" if one wasn't in her mouth!

Kindergarten "Semi-Finals"

I know, the title is a stretch, but that's what it seems like.  I know you're tired of reading about kindergarten but I really think I should document this event in our lives for when I want to look back and be reminded what a crazy person I was!

Today was kindergarten open house at "choice A". Actually, I should refer to it as choice "D" since it was Dave's choice.  I didn't plan on Delaney falling asleep when we got home from gymnastics so I decided she was getting sick because who can sleep during basement remodeling and the vacuum running????  I didn't want to miss the open house but I also didn't want to go against my tried and true rule of "never waking a sleeping baby" which I have obviously carried through to the toddler years (and yes, I still consider her a toddler but that's a whole other blog post).  I decided I would do what any good mom would do and let her sleep and when she woke up, skip feeding her lunch because my land who wants to be the mom of the kid who throws up at school before they even go there!  When she woke up, I gave her medicine for what appeared to be a fever (like I said, I REALLY didn't want to miss the open house).  A teaspoon and a half later, she was in her modest attire of a turtle neck and skirt (I opted for another cardigan and added pearls this time) like I said, we're in the Semi-Finals!

When we got to school, I immediately noticed we were able to walk in without being buzzed in, also known as strike one! But then I was told that is just to get to the offices and not in the school.  I was "told" because I of course asked!  Delaney's safety ranks right up there with education! (you have realized by now you are reading the blog of a crazy person right????)  The receptionist told us there is another incoming kindergartener named Delaney! Then she went on to tell me she has never heard of that name before "but she liked it".....ya, so did her dad!!

We were directed to the kindergarten hallway to observe the two classrooms. By the way, Delaney refused to hold my hand in the hallway. I noticed one of the students was wearing the school uniform of a red polo shirt and navy pants.  I told Delaney that is what she would be wearing and she informed me she wanted to wear pink shirts instead! So when the teacher asked if we had any questions, well, it was obvious,"just one"....................................

Delaney preferred one class room over the other which was strictly based on the increased amount of toys!  I preferred one teacher over the other which was strictly based on first impressions......

After observing the class room with more toys, I asked Delaney if she was ready to leave and she said "yes, I am ready to suck my thumb again".  When I asked her if she wanted to go to that school she told me "no, I don't want to eat in a cafeteria" and cried all the way to the car.  I told her all schools have cafeterias and lunch time is fun and that you get to visit with your friends and she said "what if the kids don't like me".  Then I informed her that I don't know anyone who wouldn't like her.

When we got home I said "I'm sorry you cried over the school but that is where your daddy wanted you to go, would you go there for daddy? (Yes, people, I went there!) and she said "no, I wouldn't". And then she said "ok, I guess I will".  Then she was fine and we started watching Nashville when Delaney informed me NASHVILLE AND DATELINE are her favorite shows! But Dateline is her "first favorite"!!! Clearly, my child is ready for kindergarten!

So here are my observations from the open house...............

My daughter is going to have to start wearing red (that color just doesn't exist in our wardrobes)

Each class has 20 kids (yes, I counted) 

The rooms have ceiling fans (she will love that feature since she is always hot!)

If you are super nice to the receptionist you can "probe her" to find out if your child is likely going to "get in".  She thinks she will! Which will not only benefit me and Delaney, but then you can stop reading posts by a crazy lady trying to get her daughter in kindergarten! 

And in non-kindergarten related news, my southwest cardigan came today! And, shockingly (insert sarcasm) I was already wearing my yoga pants (because like Delaney, I came home and got out of my dress clothes--I'm pretty sure our UPS driver would not recognize me if I were in anything but yoga pants). The cardigan fits, goes great with yoga pants AND arrived before Valentines Day!


I'm not sure why when I take our picture and Delaney tells me to make a kissy face I am the only one who does....................

And here's a picture from gymnastics.  The "other moms" made goodie bags for the girls for Valentines Day....key word "other" moms............

Happy Hump Day

I had to start physical therapy this week and the therapist asked if my injury (to my ankle) was from a sports injury! When I finished laughing, I told him the only way that was possible was if I was walking too fast at the mall! Going to therapy is like going to the gym,  THERAPY IS NOT FUN! He uses what I have quickly named "the torture stick" and told me he has grown men who won't let him use it on them. IT HURTS! I am talking come off the table pain! I told him that labor pains didn't hurt as much! Of course he couldn't relate.

We were discussing the power ball and how someone is about to become a very rich person.  We all started talking about what we would do with the winnings and I jokingly said that if I won, I would pay the other therapists to hide the "torture stick" or just buy a new ankle and not have to endure his wrath!

An elderly lady came in after me and we all began talking and she said to my therapist "tu shay" and my therapist said "by the way, does anyone know how to spell that word, I've never seen it spelled".  And I said, "well yes, as a matter of fact I do because I just spelled it the other day (in my recent blog post) and my mother was ever so thoughtful to point out I spelled it incorrectly! But really, how many of you even caught that because aren't there some words that should just be spelled like they sound?? And then those words you say, but never have to spell? And, if you're wondering, it is correctly spelled "touche". And then the lady went on about how surprised she was that someone "as young as me" uses that word! And while I'm on the subject of age, the receptionist noticed that she and I were born in the same year and said "but I have grown children and you still have a young one to raise" which I translated to "you're an old mom".

So maybe if I win that power ball, I could pay to look younger? To be perfectly honest, I said "winning the power ball would never happen to me so I will just stay happy with what I have".  I mean can you imagine not being happy and fulfilled with this..............

And speaking of my "young one", about to turn FIVE, I just received her THIRTEEN page kindergarten application! And yes, you read that right, you have to "apply" to kindergarten these days! I'm pretty sure my college application was not thirteen pages! But, who can remember that far back.............I told my mom that I was done stressing over her getting into the school I want and there is only so much I can do. But who am I kidding, I have been stressing over her education since before she was born! 

Good Things Come to Those who Wait (or, who refuse to pay full price)

There is something to be said for "cyber stalking" and I mean that in a purely online purchasing way!
I have been "stalking" this cardigan to go on sale and after a last minute "I"ll just check before I log off" moment, I discovered that it was! I just hope one thing, well, two, actually, make that three:

1.I can pull off the "southwest/aztec" look
2.It fits
3.And most importantly, it arrives by Valentine's Day!!!

Ok, make that four!
4.That it goes with my yoga pants! (But isn't that a given????)

And in other yoga pants news, when the contractor showed up (in the afternoon-----we work so well together!) I opened the door and he said "you look nice, you have your hair done and make up on".  Apparently he didn't notice the baseball shirt, yoga pants and tennis shoes! Then I got to thinking, he always comes in the afternoon, do I not have my hair done and make up on by the afternoon???? Maybe I need to re-evaluate when afternoon is..............the drywall is up and Delaney has finally realized our basement will NOT be pink!

And because you really want to hear about Delaney, here are some funny things she has said lately:

I told her that her cousin (a year younger) has stopped sucking her thumb and she said "well I could never do that, God wants me to suck my thumb because it gives me energy".  She says she is never going to stop sucking her thumb.....and I believe her!

The next day I said "do you remember Amelia stopped sucking her thumb"? She said "yes, but how much does she weigh"?

She went swimming over the weekend and when she jumped in she said "was that impressive"?

She saw that I kept an orange juice container and asked why.  I gave her the "just because" and she said "mom, that's called recycling"!

She was playing one of her games and I told her to turn it down and she said "mom, don't you want me to learn".  I said "yes, but you can learn in your playroom" (at least when Dr. Phil is on)

She told me she couldn't eat all of her apple at snack time because it was too sweet and the dentist told her she can't eat sweet stuff!

I gave her something for dinner she didn't want and told me it wasn't on her menu!

And in Delaney fashion news, we picked up this little capri jumper for our beach trip! Our flights are booked and we are counting down the days until our toes are in the sand........

Here is what three of us packed for a weekend trip (and yes, we just kept the cart in our room).  We may need to revisit the definition of packing light for a week at the beach!

To Bake or not to Bake

On Wednesdays at Delaney's school, the kids can buy treats during the bake sale at lunchtime.

This month is Delaney's classes' turn to donate baked goods.  

We had to sign up and let them know what we wanted to bring. 

Naturally, I signed up for..........

Little did I know the "room mom" would email a spreadsheet TO ALL MOMS listing each student's mom and what she was bringing baking. I was of course the only underachiever mom signed up for Little Debbies.

When Delaney and I were at the store, I forewarned her the Little Debbies we were buying were for the bake sale and would not be eaten at home.  She replied "if they're for the BAKE sale, why are we buying stuff"!!! Tu Shay my child, tu shay!

During Delaney's 6 hour pursuit of cleaning her bedroom, she "found" this 12 month onesie and put it on!  Let me know if you know where I can buy 5T onesies!

(I wanted to just post her picture but she told me to take a "bideo")

In the Words of the Stella Sisters....

At the end of the day, Lord I pray, I have a life that's good........

Even though she is closing in on five, I look at this picture and her profile reminds me of so many of her baby pictures......Father Time, please slow down!!

Labor Day Weekend

If you need us, here's where you can find us.......        I went ahead and bought tickets because I just know Delaney won't be able to
"Let it Go"..............

And speaking of "Frozen"/Cold Temperatures, I went to pick up Delaney at grandma and grandpa's the other day and grandma asked me if my car was cold! I had been out of it all of 5 minutes and her grandma informed me she doesn't like Delaney to have to get into a cold car!!!! I replied with "um, we did when we were kids"!!!!!!!!

Superbowl Manicure

Is that even a thing?????